Monday, June 1, 2015

Stuff My Kids Say

Lazy title.  Not sorry.

Talking about brads
Me: When I was little, I used to love crafting with these.
Ava: Oh my goodness!!  I love crapping with them too!!

You have come my child.
Hold my hand and you will fly.
You will be always with me.
Go to Coney Island and you will find me.
(Not a clue. Not. A. Clue.)

Ava: Wouldn't it be great if humans were real?
Me: Humans are real.  WE are humans.
Ava: No we're not!  We're mermaids.
Me: Nope, sorry.  We're definitely humans.
Ava: Wait...why do you have LEGS?!?!
Me: .......

Ava, after we studied blood in school: Dad, I want to look at my blood under a microscope!
Stephen, referring to a borrowed glucose monitor we have on hand: I have a little machine that will poke you and make your blood come out...
Ava: Can you do it on me?
Stephen: It pokes through your skin.  I don't think you really want to do that.
Ava: Well actually...can you just do it to Clare??
Hey Ava, know what they say about Karma?

Ava, talking about what she'd like to be when she grows up: I would like to be a paleontologist, a ballerina, a mommy, a nun, a stage girl, a lady from a movie, and a teacher.
Guess it's time to add "mutual exclusion" to our list of homeschool study topics''

After Emeric knocked down Ava's block tower...
Ava: This is why I don't want any more pregnant people in our family.
Me: What do pregnant people have to do with your tower falling down?
Ava: Because they make more babies that knock down my block towers.

Me: Ava, would you like your egg scrambled or hard boiled?
Ava: Hard boiled.  Scrambled eggs are really immature.  That means babyish.

Clare: Ava, let's pretend I'm allergic to oxygen.
Ava: Clare, that's impossible. How about carbon dioxide?

Clare: It's good to keep your mouth shut, because if you throw up a little bit, the throw up will just come up to your teeth and then go back down.
Me: .............

Clare, after we were talking about the following day being the feast of St. Lucy and I told her she and Ava could bring the saffron buns in to my bedroom in the morning: Why, is it St. Mommy's day??

Me: Hey, Clare!
Clare: What?
Me: I love you.
Clare: I don't know how to draw owls!

Thank you Emily for always!!


  1. So wonderful! But the last one is my favorite...and maybe the mermaid one. LOL.

  2. I swear that Coney Island one must be a quote from Magic Treehouse or something... Have you guys read those books? Am I making things up?

  3. hahahaha! Love the pregnant people one!
    And I'm so glad you're blogging again!

  4. What? What???? Your kids! They're ridiculous! They are just as nuts as Rosie's kids, and that's saying a lot!

  5. I'm new to your blog after coming over from your sister Emily's! This is brilliant! xD I have A one week old niece and a 2 year old Nephew so some of the things the elder says are quite funny.

  6. Some much to love in one little post; can't pick a favorite!!

  7. This is my first time i visit here and I found so many interesting stuff in your blog especially it's discussion, thank you. best baby movement monitor