Stuff My Kids Say

Lazy title.  Not sorry.

Talking about brads

Me: When I was little, I used to love crafting with these.

Ava: Oh my goodness!!  I love crapping with them too!!

Ava:
You have come my child.

Hold my hand and you will fly.

You will be always with me.

Go to Coney Island and you will find me.
(Not a clue. Not. A. Clue.)

Ava: Wouldn't it be great if humans were real?

Me: Humans are real.  WE are humans.

Ava: No we're not!  We're mermaids.

Me: Nope, sorry.  We're definitely humans.

Ava: Wait...why do you have LEGS?!?!

Me: .......

Ava, after we studied blood in school: Dad, I want to look at my blood under a microscope!
Stephen, referring to a borrowed glucose monitor we have on hand: I have a little machine that will poke you and make your blood come out...

Ava: Can you do it on me?

Stephen: It pokes through your skin.  I don't think you really want to do that.

Ava: Well actually...can you just do it to Clare??

Hey Ava, know what they say about Karma?

Ava, talking about what she'd like to be when she grows up: I would like to be a paleontologist, a ballerina, a mommy, a nun, a stage girl, a lady from a movie, and a teacher.
Guess it's time to add "mutual exclusion" to our list of homeschool study topics''

After Emeric knocked down Ava's block tower...

Ava: This is why I don't want any more pregnant people in our family.

Me: What do pregnant people have to do with your tower falling down?

Ava: Because they make more babies that knock down my block towers.

Me: Ava, would you like your egg scrambled or hard boiled?

Ava: Hard boiled.  Scrambled eggs are really immature.  That means babyish.

Clare: Ava, let's pretend I'm allergic to oxygen.

Ava: Clare, that's impossible. How about carbon dioxide?

Clare: It's good to keep your mouth shut, because if you throw up a little bit, the throw up will just come up to your teeth and then go back down.
Me: .............

Clare, after we were talking about the following day being the feast of St. Lucy and I told her she and Ava could bring the saffron buns in to my bedroom in the morning: Why, is it St. Mommy's day??

Me: Hey, Clare!

Clare: What?

Me: I love you.

Clare: I don't know how to draw owls!


Thank you Emily for photo...as always!!