Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Stephenisms, Volume 1


My serious thoughts may coagulate into a post at some point, but for now - I think we all need a dose of levity for our Tuesday.  As I'm sure everyone knows, Catholic dads are regular comedians.  And so, I present to you my first edition of Stephenisms.



While making celebratory crepes after the Super Bowl: 
"Who wants to be out at a bar with a bunch of sweaty drunk people when you could be at home making crepes???"

While pouring Clare a glass of almond milk: 
"I didn't even know almonds had nipples!"

On a TV commercial for BeenVerified.com, a woman says "This guy I met online, he could be anyone!"  Stephen responds: "He couldn't be ANYONE...he couldn't be Maya Angelou."

When I asked him if we could name our next daughter "Hazel", he said: 
"Sure, because then I could say 'Hazel, you're a nut!'"

After Googling "huge appetite", Stephen tells me: 
"The good news is that it's not cancer, the bad news is that I might be pregnant, have PMS, or be under a lot of stress.  I think it's probably PMS."

"WOAH...Did you know taco cat spelled backwards is taco cat?!?!?!?!"



8 comments:

  1. Those were great, I laughed outloud for the almond nipple one.

    Racecar spelled backwards is Racecar too!

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    1. Hahahaha am I the only one who is totally unimpressed with palindromes??? Stephen is always excited to find a new one!!

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  2. This made me laugh out loud, Jamie! For real! My son just told me the taco cat one yesterday! : )

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  3. That last one BLOWS MY MIND. I'll be thinking about that all week.

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  4. So funny! I like #4! You should totally name your next daughter Hazel so we can all say, "Hazel, you're a nut!" I like it.

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  5. I bet "Taco Cat" wins you a huge following! I was just telling my online peeps: "Nothing sets the internet ablaze" like a cat. I wake up this morning, and lo, my point is made.

    I am compelled to join your site on principle.

    Plus... it is just so *pretty!* I can't wait to peruse your popular posts once I return from my youngest daughter's "seashell stand (remember to bring money, mom.)"

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  6. Yeah, taco cat is pretty amazing.

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  7. Taco Cat is good, but so is: A man, a plan, a canal, Panama

    Also, "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo" is a grammatically correct sentence in English. Actually, a string of words made up of n "buffalo"'s, where n >=2 is a grammatically correct sentence.

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