Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Stephenisms, Volume 1
My serious thoughts may coagulate into a post at some point, but for now - I think we all need a dose of levity for our Tuesday. As I'm sure everyone knows, Catholic dads are regular comedians. And so, I present to you my first edition of Stephenisms.
While making celebratory crepes after the Super Bowl:
"Who wants to be out at a bar with a bunch of sweaty drunk people when you could be at home making crepes???"
While pouring Clare a glass of almond milk:
"I didn't even know almonds had nipples!"
On a TV commercial for BeenVerified.com, a woman says "This guy I met online, he could be anyone!" Stephen responds: "He couldn't be ANYONE...he couldn't be Maya Angelou."
When I asked him if we could name our next daughter "Hazel", he said:
"Sure, because then I could say 'Hazel, you're a nut!'"
After Googling "huge appetite", Stephen tells me:
"The good news is that it's not cancer, the bad news is that I might be pregnant, have PMS, or be under a lot of stress. I think it's probably PMS."
"WOAH...Did you know taco cat spelled backwards is taco cat?!?!?!?!"